Your Post-Workout Grooming Routine Should Only Take Five Minutes

The number-one thing a post-workout grooming should be is fast. Hit the showers with a monomaniacal sense of purpose, or you’ll stand around waiting for hours as a menagerie of vanity-impaled gym stereotypes hog the sinks, blow-dry their chest hair, and trim their pubes. (If your workouts are currently limited to the at-home variety, the human safari is even worse when said gym stereotypes are also your roommates.)

Sadly, most locker rooms offer a paltry selection of personal-grooming products. Even the swankiest gyms don’t dole out aluminum-free deodorant or matte face moisturizers, the kind specifically designed to help you avoid what we in the business call “pizza face”. That’s why we’ve endorsed a BYO policy. Because top-shelf multi-use products—once relegated to dandruff two-in-ones but now churned out by leading brands—are the key to minimizing your time in half-dressed purgatory.

So take a deep breath and move with finesse. Everything you need to assemble a record-breaking post-workout grooming routine is right here—timestamps and all—whether you’re showering off at home before an early-morning Zoom or carefully avoiding the hirsute CrossFitter power walking towards the last free stall.  


Rip open any one of these disposable towelette packets to cleanse and de-oil your face in one fell swoop.

Ursa Major Essential Face Wipes

Oars + Alps shower wipes (pack of 14)


Lather up in less time than it takes to find the right shower temp.

American Crew 3-in-1 Shampoo, Conditioner, and Body Wash

Nécessaire fragrance-free body wash


These deodorants smell good enough to double as fragrance. 

Jack Black “Pit Boss” antiperspirant and deodorant


These SPF moisturizers buffer your skin against dryness and sun damage, minimizing long-term dermis destruction down the line.

Dermalogica Oil Free Matte Sunscreen Lotion SPF 30

CeraVe moisturizing lotion with SPF 30


Rub a dime-sized amount of styling cream into towel-dried hair (or give it a few well-placed spritzes) and let it air-dry. Now get dressed.

Bumble and bumble Styling Creme

5:00 — VICTORY!

Congratulations: You’re the Usain Bolt of semi-public grooming. Take a self-congratulatory victory lap in the parking lot.

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Nine top-shelf picks for your shower caddy.

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