‘Do or do not, there is no try’ and other bullshit movie lines morons live by

MOVIES are escapist fiction, not a solid basis for your life philosophy, yet halfwits have taken dumb lines of dialogue to heart: 

‘Do or do not, there is no try’ – The Empire Strikes Back

Sage advice delivered by a little green goblin with a poor grasp of sentence structure. Effective in the context of the film, punishingly cringeworthy when used to motivate people about real-life situations. They’re usually not trying to levitate a spaceship out of a swamp, they’re trying to save a housing deposit or kick the booze.

‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it’ – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Easy enough for a smarmy prick to say during a booming economy. Slightly grating to hear when you’re an adult with a family to feed and a job to hold down. You haven’t got a second to stop and bask in your life, and even if you did you’d realise it’s not going very well and Ferris was an arsehole like his sister said. 

‘Just keep swimming’ – Finding Nemo

A line sung by an amnesiac fish in a kid’s film so many times it made you pray for a major oil spill over that f**king reef. Ploughing through life unthinkingly is dumb. Sometimes you need to pause and fix problems before moving on. Yes, the swimming is metaphorical, but that doesn’t make it any less moronic.

‘What we do in life echoes in eternity’ – Gladiator

The actions of Maximus Decimus Meridius definitely had an impact on events in the film, but that’s because he was the main character and it would be a rubbish script if they didn’t. Actual people who say this will only leave behind an arse groove on their sofa and a bunch of annoyed friends.

‘Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get’ – Forrest Gump

Usually said by hapless cretins when life throws them a curveball. Far from being a reassurance, this line is a surrender to the world’s chaotic misfortunes. Also, even if the chocolates came without the handy guide, they’re chocolates. They’re all nice. None unexpectedly kill you. 

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